


slow hands

by holtzbian



Category: Ghostbusters (2016)
Genre: F/F, everything is fluffy and happy and fine, nothing too graphic though, once again I am soft, tw for injury/blood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-29
Updated: 2017-06-29
Packaged: 2018-11-20 22:31:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11344428
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/holtzbian/pseuds/holtzbian
Summary: Holtzmann gets injured. Erin becomes her hands.





	slow hands

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so, I started this fic right after I joined the fandom, almost a year ago. I kept abandoning and coming back to it, then in January it was almost done and my computer freaked out and wiped it all. I was so disheartened that I never went back to it, but I just happened to stumble across its remains a few days ago and give it another shot. It's been a long and winding road with this fic, but we made it.  
> Also, I know literally nothing about medicine, so this is probably completely inaccurate, which is why I tried to leave that side of things as vague as possible. You'd think I'd have at least picked some things up from watching Grey's Anatomy for all this time, but alas, I have not.  
> Anyway, enjoy!

* * *

 

_September_

 

* * *

 

 

 Holtzmann's lab has become Erin's safe place. Not literally, of course- in the literalsense she's in constant danger on the second floor, where Holtz has surrounded herself with a plethora of "next-level" technology, most of which is untested, unstable, and prone to combustion. But Erin never feels pressured or judged around Holtz. She adores Abby and Patty, of course, more than anything, but she hadn't been getting any big ideas lately, and not being the greatest engineer or fighter- though she knew her way around a proton pack- she'd begun to notice Abby side-eyeing her as she stared blankly at a page full of equations that had turned out to be absolute gibberish, and was feeling somewhat sedentary and useless. Holtzmann, however, takes no such notice. She seems joyful for the company and proceeds to flirt mercilessly with Erin, as she always had, whilst she tinkered with her toys. 'Don't touch that' is pretty much the only rule (though it's one that Erin didn't need to be told, as she rather likes having hair, and fingertips, and a face).

"Hey Erin," Holtz calls her over to the short balcony that juts out from the back of the lab, where she's taking one of her regularly scheduled "radiation breaks" (which Erin is pretty certain have no effect given her level of exposure, but she isn't one to question a fellow scientist's methods).

"I got you a present," She announces, holding her arms above her head in a jazz-hands movement as Erin approaches her.

"What?" She laughs.

Holtz spins to point down at the street.

"Good job, Kev!" She yells, far louder than necessary.

Erin peers over to see Kevin carrying a desk into the building with the help of a delivery guy, though he stops to give them a thumbs up and immediately drops it on his foot.

"Oh, Kevin." Holtzmann sighs, shaking her head before she turns back to Erin.

"It's a desk. For in here. Because you're in here a lot. I've noticed."

She pushes her yellow-tinted glasses up her nose slightly, which Erin now recognises as something she does when feeling nervous and wants something to do with her hands.

"Thank you. That's great, Holtz."

Holtzmann nods, giving her a two-finger salute before patting her fondly on the shoulder and heading back inside.

"Hey," Erin says as she follows her in.

"You don't mind me being in here all the time?"

"I do not," The blonde responds as she switches out her regular glasses for huge industrial safety goggles.

"If I did, I'm sure I would not be buying you furniture."

Erin turns away to hide her reddening cheeks, painfully aware of what a stupid question it was. That's one of her greatest weaknesses; her incessant need for reassurance and validation, professional or otherwise. She leans against the doorframe and is content, if just for a second, to watch Holtz work, her utter focus and dedication always fascinating to Erin. The moment is shattered when she hears a loud crash coming from downstairs, which she knows without a doubt to be Kevin crashing into something. She sighs, and catches Holtz grinning as she walks past her and heads downstairs.

 

* * *

 

Erin stares at the sheets of paper in front of her. She doesn't write, she doesn't read, she just stares. She's been in some sort of block lately. She had felt on the verge of something for a long time, but after a while, the numbers stopped adding up; it was as though everything she'd ever done had been translated into a language she didn't understand with no way of reversing it. She presses her lips together in frustration as she incessantly taps her pen, just waiting for something to stick.

"Whatcha doin'?" Erin jumps as Holtzmann appears over her shoulder.

"Jesus, you scared me," She exhales.

"You scared  _me_ ," Holtz insists, taking the now stationary pen from her hand and flinging it carelessly across the room. Erin just watches it go, unsure of how to react. Holtz leans back against the desk, head tilted towards Erin.

"I thought you were developing a nervous tick."

"I  _am_  a nervous tick."

Holtzmann grins, her tongue jutting out between her teeth slightly, nose scrunching as it always did when she was excited.

"You wanna go blow something up?"

Erin slams her hands on her papers, eliciting a loud clap as she stands up enthusiastically.

"Absolutely yes."

 

Even Erin, in all her compulsive, hyper-organised glory, has to admit there was something extremely therapeutic in just making things explode for no reason. She also has the added bonus of Holtzmann's exclamations of joy as they casually destroy the ghost-shaped obstacles they'd placed in the alley behind the firehouse. She always seems to have some at hand, and Erin wonders whenexactly Holtz takes the time to paint ghosts on a giant sheet, a trash can, or, on this occasion, a life-size cut-out of Justin Bieber.

"Why?" Is all Erin can say when she sees it. She knows better than to ask, but finds herself doing so anyway.

"He has a certain _je ne sais quoi_ , the Biebs. I could not resist his boyish charms."

She says this as though it's the most normal thing in the world and somehow, coming from Holtz, it is. Erin smiles fondly as she watches the blonde inspect a grenade, and then tries not to freak out when it's promptly tossed at her.

Holtzmann sighs as Erin flinches away and the device rolls around at her feet.

"Erin, you should know by now that if I had any desire to blow you up I would have done it already. I didn't pull the pin."

"I don't think it's unreasonable to be apprehensive about explosives being tossed in my direction, Holtzmann."

Holtz pauses, looking her up and down as Erin picks up the grenade.

"Touché."

She watches in amusement as it makes impact, sending an array of Justin Bieber fragments spinning into the air. The legs remain intact, though on fire.

"Ah, Justin," Holtz sighs as she takes several dramatic long-strides over to the remains.

"You had a good run."

She stamps out the flame from the jean-coloured cardboard and kicks it away.

She notices Erin looking at her in a way akin to how she herself often looks at Kevin.

"He's just so tiny and full of life. Delightful."

Erin smiles and shakes her head, turning her attention back to one of the side arms on the Table of Treats.

"You have that in common." She mutters.

Holtzmann leans back against the other end of the table, tilting her head as she looks at the brunette, her brows slightly furrowed. Was that flirting?

 

* * *

 

_October_

 

* * *

 

 

"Ugh. I hate it here."

Erin groans as they walk through the eerily large corridors of city hall. The mayor, still refusing to publicly acknowledge the existence of ghosts, always insists they have their meetings at night, which manages to make an already excruciating experience even worse. He always makes them wait, too, as though he has any other business to attend to at ten on a Thursday night.

Erin feels increasingly uneasy, her breathing picking up and her movement slowing. Holtzmann, who had been walking in step with her behind the other two, notices and slows.

"Y'okay?"

"Yes," Erin squeaks much too quickly, and Holtz notices her hands shaking. She looks around, then places a hand on the small of Erin's back and begins to lead her in the other direction, away from the mayor's office (or, rather, the room next to it where he'd make them wait for half an hour) and towards a set of doors that led to the private garden where events were held to entertain 'important' guests.

They sit down on a bench, Erin now full-on hyperventilating, Holtzmann's hand still on her back.

"Okay," The blonde says calmly.

"You're having a panic attack right now. Can you slow your breathing down for me, Er?"

Erin tries, tensing, and Holtzmann places her free hand on her stomach.

"Try breathing out against my hand. One, two, three. And out. One, two three."

Erin does, closing her eyes.

"Now," Holtz says, her voice calm and soothing, anchoring Erin to reality.

"Did I ever tell you about the time I almost got arrested in Egypt?"

Erin has so many things she wants to say in response to that, but all she can do is shake her head. And Holtzmann tells her the most ridiculous story involving several nuns, a remote controlled helicopter and a camel, that she doesn't doubt is true for a second, and by the end she's laughing, her breathing even, her hands steady. Holtzmann just smiles at her, arm propped up on the back of the bench, head resting in her hand, a dreamy look in her eyes.

"You good?"

Erin smiles.

"Yeah."

Holtzmann grins, then looks thoughtful for a moment.

"You know, I bet if we're a total pain in the ass in the meeting they won't make us go next time."

Holtzmann's eyes shine mischievously, and Erin decides that this once, she'll indulge it.

"Hey!"

They both turn to see Patty standing in the doorway.

"The hell are y'all doing out here? You think I wanna be here? Get your asses inside."

"Yikes," Holtz chuckles, standing up and taking Erin's hand, pulling her along as they run back in.

 

* * *

 

A week later, as they're devouring far too much pizza for four people after a particularly long bust, Abby steps out to take a call. Recognising Abby's _'not this shit again_ ' face, Holtzmann winks at Erin as they wait expectantly for her to return.

" _Well_ ," Abby says dramatically, dropping her phone on the table and picking up a slice of pizza.

"That was Jennifer, and the mayor wants to see us this Friday. Apparently," She drags the last word out and gives Holtzmann a look.

"They insist only two of us go at a time, in case there's an emergency and no one can get in touch with anyone equipped to handle a ghost."

Erin bites her lip to hide her smile whilst Patty laughs loudly.

"Oh yeah, I'm sure it has nothing to do with Holtzy and Erin putting googly eyes on all the statues around city hall."

Patty turns to Holtz.

"Why did you even _have_ those?"

Holtzmann shrugs, her mouth still full of pizza and a smug look on her face.

"You never know."

 

* * *

 

_November_

* * *

 

 

With her headphones in, Holtz doesn't hear the firehouse door slam shut, but she does notice the screen in front of her shake. She turns from her position on the couch, puts her laptop down in front of her to see Erin storm in, drenched from head to toe and quite visibly annoyed.

"Uuuuuuugggghhhhh," She groans loudly, shaking her head violently in an attempt to dry her hair.

Audibly annoyed, too.

"Hello, sunshine!"

Erin jumps, looking around frantically before she sees Holtzmann on the other side of the room, curled up on the couch under a blanket.

"Jesus, Holtz," She sighs, dropping her coat and bag in the doorway before heading over.

"What are you doing here? It's 3am."

Holtz shrugs.

"Didn't feel like going home. You?"

Erin grimaces, rubbing her arms in attempt to warm up.

"Was on a date. The worst. And then this storm started and this is closer than my apartment, so..."

Holtz frowns, tossing the blanket off of herself.

"C'mon," She starts towards the stairs and gestures for Erin to follow her. She disappears into the tiny room off the back of the lab, emerging with a towel and a clean set of clothes.

"Go shower and warm up, and then you can join me in laughing at the terrible movie I have on. I'm fifteen minutes in, but I'll restart it because you're so cute and distressed."

Erin rolls her eyes, but smiles, taking the towel and clothes from her.

"Why are you watching it if you know it's terrible?"

"To enjoy how great it is at being terrible."

Erin just shakes her head before heading upstairs to shower. Holtzmann watches her go. 

 

* * *

 

"So what are we watching?"

Holtz turns to see Erin heading down the last few stairs, her hair damp from the shower and a towel around her shoulders. She's wearing the oversized old band shirt and slacks she gave her, and something about the sight of Erin in her clothes makes her stomach do a back flip. Erin settles next to her on the couch, their legs touching, and Holtz pulls the blanket over them before handing her a warm cup.

"Hot chocolate," She says, before picking up the laptop from her other side and settling it across their laps.

"Are you ready?" Holtzmann asks, already chuckling. Erin just nods.

"It's a limited-release teen movie from 2012. Starring Miley Cyrus."

"Oh my _god_." Erin groans, holding her mug to her face to hide her amusement.

"No, listen-" Holtzmann can barely get through a sentence without laughing.

"I haven't told you the best part yet. It's called- wait for it- _Lol_."

Erin cringes.

" _Lol_? As in laugh out loud?"

"The very same. And I'm sure we will, but for all the wrong reasons."

 

* * *

 

 

"Look- oh my god, did you see that?"

Holtzmann presses her finger right into the laptop screen to point at something, which usually would make Erin cringe to her very core, but she's too busy wiping her tears of laughter to notice.

"What?"

"She just closed her laptop and it turned into a fucking book!"

"No. No she didn't."

Holtz pulls the computer fully on to her lap, determined to rewind it and prove it to Erin, when it starts making an unsettling noise.

"Oh, shit."

She places the laptop on the floor and pushes it away with her foot.

"Yeah. That might explode. Probably, not, but... It might."

 

* * *

 

_December_

 

* * *

 

The firehouse is quiet, which is generally a good thing. If one of them has nothing to do, they tend to resort to childish cahoots. On Abby's particularly loud days, they had all grown accustomed to checking their seats for whoopee cushions before sitting down. Who even goes out and buys whoopee cushions? Abby, apparently. When Patty is bored or uninspired, she likes to hang around someone who isn't, seemingly hoping it would rub off on her. She tends to gravitate towards Holtz (who didn't?), who she considers a "beautiful ball of energy wrapped in crazy genius". Holtzmann herself doesn't regularly have these days- she can usually blast whatever genre of her extremely broad, usually ridiculous musical taste she's in the mood for that day and get back to it. Her unadulterated love and enthusiasm for her craft and the people around her is enough to keep her spirits high. Occasionally, though, she needs to get out of the lab. She always goes alone; stopping in to the firehouse first to let them all know she'd be gone for the day and to hit the Ghost Alarm if they got a call and needed her. (The Ghost Alarm was actually a big red button on the wall of the firehouse that she'd rigged to set off a series of beepers that she had distributed to the team.

"Holtzy, why would we need beepers in a world where everybody has a phone?" Patty had asked.

"Listen here," Holtzmann insisted, raising a finger at them.

"You may not always be able to reach your phone, but a beeper? A beeper can just live in your belt. Not everywhere has cellular coverage, but this guy? Come rain or shine, this guy can beep with the best of 'em." She raised her hands and thrusted them towards the beepers in a dramatic gesture. "The Ghost Alarm!")

On this particular day, though, she invites Erin along on her travels. Despite having actually been productive on this occasion, Erin agrees; Holtzmann's personal days had always piqued her interest, and she couldn't possibly turn down such a rare and intriguing offer.

Her first discovery is that Holtz drives a freaking motorcycle.

They'd walked the few blocks from the firehouse to Holtzmann's apartment building (Erin had been there once before, but she couldn't remember anything about what her apartment looked like- it was on one of their bar nights, and Holtz had been the designated driver, or, as the rest of the team called it, 'On Erin Duty'.)

She watches open-mouthed as Holtzmann casually approaches her bike, removes the lock and hops on. She pats the seat behind her and holds out the (only) helmet to Erin. Her reluctance is written all over her face, and Holtzmann rolls her eyes.

"Erin, dearest Erin, I have saved your life a number of times. Please trust that I am not going to kill you with my bike."

Erin presses her lips together, tense. She could question the significance of Holtzmann's ghostbusting skills in relation to her motorcycle riding. She could rattle off a bunch of statistics she sort-of remembered from a documentary she'd half-watched about motorcycle accidents. Or, she could turn her brain off, hop on the bike, wrap her arms around Holtz's waist and ride off with this glorious weirdo. She chooses the latter.

"I've saved your life a number of times, too, you know." Erin mutters as she settles behind her.

"I do know. That number is thirteen."

Erin smiles despite her nerves, and squeezes the other woman slightly to let her know she's ready to go.

Holtz buries her tongue in her cheek, unable to fight a grin that Erin can't see as the brunette rests her head on her shoulder, hiding her face in her hair as the bike fires up.

 

* * *

 

 

Hours later, Holtz is back in the lab, whilst Erin and Patty are out on a coffee run- well, four coffees, and a hot chocolate for Kevin.

"So what does Holtzy get up to in her down time?"

Erin chuckles as she leans against the counter while they wait for their drinks.

"Did you know she drives a motorcycle?"

Patty raises her eyebrows initially, and then shrugs.

"I can see that."

"And she does that- you know that handshake guys do where they, like, join hands and chest bump instead of hugging? She did that with a guy at the record store and the guy at the pet store. I don't think I've seen that since I had a window seat overlooking football practice in high school."

Patty laughs loudly, finding it far too easy to picture a young Erin gazing out the window at a bunch of guys in football uniforms.

"You went to a pet store?"

"Yeah," Erin smiles fondly.

"She likes to look at the fish. Says it calms her down. I can see it, I guess."

Patty grins, nodding appreciatively to the barista as she picks up the carry container holding their five drinks.

"She's a weird one, our Holtzy. Gotta love her."

"Yep."

She opts not to tell Patty about the rest of their day; Holtzmann likes her privacy for a reason, and the day had felt like an intimate experience to Erin. Particularly when she asked why Holtz liked to sit on this particular bridge overlooking the water surrounding Manhattan (the height of which personally made Erin a little nauseous, but she pushed through).

"I travelled a lot as a kid," She had admitted, staring off into the water.

"When we settled here the big city made me anxious. Felt trapped. My dad used to bring me here to remind me that it's an island. That the water connects us to everywhere else in the world."

Her brows were slightly furrowed as she stared, absently fiddling with her watch, and Erin could tell she felt vulnerable. Silently, she placed her hand over the blonde's and ran her thumb reassuringly across her knuckles. She didn't ask about her father. It wasn't her place.

Not yet.

 

* * *

 

_January_

 

* * *

 

"Erin, you magnificent nimble sunflower, I need your hands."

She looks up from her desk to see Holtzmann summoning her over. She doesn't react to the shower of compliments; Holtz says things like this pretty much all the time. It's just another element of her relentless flirtation, which Erin assumes is due to Holtz taking great pleasure in making her blush. She's getting better though, becoming slightly less susceptible to the woman's unfaltering flirtatious confidence.

She heads over, hovering behind Holtzmann until she tells her what to do. Instead, Holtzmann takes both of her hands and places them over levers on either side of the machine she's working on, so that she's standing between Erin's outstretched arms.

"I'm gonna need you to hold those down to override the mechanism while I fix this, so that I am not transported to Ohio. I'm not a huge fan of the Cavaliers."

Erin relaxes slightly now that she's sure this is a work related task- in order to grip the levers effectively, she's pretty much entirely pressed up against Holtz, and very aware of that fact.

"Ohio?" She asks, peering over the engineer's shoulder.

"Not Michigan?"

"We're getting closer," Holtz responds as she works.

They stay like that for several minutes, and Erin watches patiently as Holtz tinkers and adjusts.

"You know," Holtzmann says as she tightens a bolt, and Erin can hear her grin.

"We're basically spooning right now."

"Shut up, Holtz."

She feels the vibration of Holtzmann chuckling against her, and rests her head on the other woman's shoulder to get a closer look at what she's doing. Her hair smells like the oddest combination of petrol, smoke, and french vanilla, and Erin is perplexed by how inviting she finds it. Suddenly, Holtz turns around to face her in one swift movement, Erin's hands on the machinery keeping their bodies pressed together. For a moment she just stares, and, for a moment, Erin thinks she's going to kiss her. In that same moment, she realises she wants her to, and she isn't sure which is more terrifying. And then she feels Holtz  _boop_ her nose against her own before leaning back against the work station and grinning. She lifts Erin's hands from the levers and presses a dramatic, loud kiss to the back of each of her hands.

"All done," She grins, letting her go.

Erin nods and slowly steps away, painfully aware of her flustered smile and the stark blush on her cheeks.

 

* * *

 

"Shit," Holtzmann mutters under her breath. Erin barely hears it- she's somewhat used to a string of profanities from the blonde when something isn't going to plan.

There's the sound of metal scraping, and then-

" _Shit_ ," She yells this time, stumbling back from her work station, gripping her right wrist, her back hitting the storage cabinet behind her.

Erin drops what she's doing and runs across the room to her when she hears the ruckus.

"Holtz wha- what the fuck?"

Holtzmann is keeled over against the wall, still holding tight to her wrist and blood drips down it and on to her other hand. Her right hand is sliced up beyond recognition.

"Shit," Erin echoes, pulling a chair over for Holtz to drop into.

"Abby!" She yells suddenly, making the blonde jump.

"Get up here now!"

"Jeez, Erin," Holtz mumbles, her head resting on the table now.

"I've already fucked up my hand, I don't need a burst eardrum."

Erin scoffs, pulling up a seat next to her, gingerly taking her injured hand by the wrist to inspect it further. She exhales hard out of her mouth, trying to stay calm so that Holtz does. It's really fucking messed up.

"Gross, right?"

Erin rolls her eyes, putting an arm around Holtzmann's shoulders.

"Shut up," She says quietly, just as she hears Abby climbing the stairs.

"Hey, what's so urgent that- oh, shit."

Abby heads straight for a cabinet on the other side of the room, pulling out a first aid kit.

Erin holds Holtzmann's hand still as Abby attempts to clean and bandage it.

"I can totally see your bones, Holtz." Abby chuckles, attempting to lighten the mood.

"Really?" Holtz grins, peering over.

"Don't look, stupid," Abby swats her away.

"You'll pass out again."

Holtzmann's eyes widen.

"What?" Erin seems concerned, and then laughs, understanding.

"Are you afraid of blood? _You_?" 

Holtzmann scoffs, looking incredulous.

"I'm not... _afraid_ of it."

"I sliced my leg open on some barbed wire when we first moved into our old lab and she hit the floor," Abby pipes up.

Erin tries to contain her smile, suddenly understanding why Holtz is leaning so heavily into her.

"Okay," Abby sighs, dropping Holtzmann's loosely bandaged hand.

"Hospital, then."

"Uuuuuuuggghhh," Holtz groans, burying her face in Erin's shoulder.

"Don't be a baby," Abby rolls her eyes, gesturing for Erin to make her get up.

She does, and keeps her arm around her for moral support as they head for the car.

 

* * *

 

It takes way too long for them to see a doctor, the injury not being emergent and all. For the most part, Holtz sits quietly in the too-hard waiting room chair as Erin paces, and Abby and Patty back-and-forth about how to get her _stop_ pacing and whether they should leave to get food or settle for the garbage the hospital serves. Eventually, an orthopaedic doctor sees them, and pulls a series of spirit-dampening faces as she cleans and assesses the injury.

After that, it had gone way too fast, with Holtzmann being whisked away into surgery to reset the delicate bones in her hand.

Hours later, they all sit around Holtzmann's hospital room, where the surgeon goes over her case before discharging her.

"You're going to need more surgery," The doctor says finally. She'd said a lot of other things too, but that was all that Erin seemed to hear.

"What?" She cries, earning a bemused look from Holtzmann.

The doctor raises an eyebrow.

"There's some pretty serious nerve damage- you're an engineer, right?"

Holtzmann nods, and Erin frowns, wondering why she knows that.

"I'll be blunt. You're going to need the surgery if you want to be working at anywhere near the level you were before. After physical therapy, we can hope for regain of about seventy five percent function."

" _Seventy five_?!"

Holtzmann places her free hand on Erin's arm in an attempt to calm her down.

"And if you don't operate?" She asks, quieter now.

"Fifty percent." The doctor looks from Erin back to Holtzmann.

"You wouldn't be able to resume your work without it. I'm very good, trust me. I really recommend the surgery. I won't let you down."

The women all look at each other for a few moments as the doctor marks something down on her chart.

"Think about it-"

"I want the surgery." Holtzmann says suddenly, unwavering certainty in her voice.

"Okay," The doctor smiles, clapping her hands together.

"I'll get that scheduled and we will call you."

She leaves the room and the immediately returns.

"Thank you, by the way. My dad had a ghost a few months ago. And now he doesn't call me at 4am anymore. So, yeah, thanks."

 

* * *

 

Hours later, Erin is alone in Holtzmann's hospital room whilst the others have gone to get food. She's staying overnight but is being discharged in the morning.

"Well, that wasn't easy," Holtz says as she emerges from the bathroom, her bandaged hand held out in front of her. Erin can't hold back a chuckle. Holtzmann perches back on the edge of the bed and stares at her hand for a while.

"Does it hurt? Like, badly?" Erin asks, and immediately regrets it.

Holtzmann breaks out into an amused grin as she meets her eyes.

"Well, it's not great. I think the fucked up nerve thing is taking some of the sting out of it though. I mean, literally."

Erin bites her lip anxiously. She's glad that Holtzmann is in high spirits enough to make jokes, but is sure that the extent of her injuries hasn't actually sunk in yet. She thinks back to the fear on Holtzmann's face when it had happened. A mere twelve hours have passed, but the hours of waiting makes it seem like centuries ago. She stares at the wall, not wanting to dishearten Holtz any further with her concerned expression- she'd never had much control over her face. They make small talk for a while, and Erin generally avoids looking at her, distracting herself with her phone, messing with her hair, pulling at the strings of her (technically Holtzmann's) MIT hoodie. And so, she misses the way the blonde looks at her. Just stares at her, for however long it takes for the others to return.

 

* * *

 

Holtzmann is in a funk. It's been four days, and she's keeping up high spirits around the others, but Erin sees through it. The second floor had developed into ever more of a shared space between them in the few months prior; Erin now has a whiteboard on the wall behind her desk on which to scribble equations, and a bookcase just off to the side. She spends most of her time there, and so she sees a side of Holtzmann that the others don't. She sees her frustration as she stares longingly at half-constructed projects and weapons, sighing at her bound hand. She hasn't fallen in too deep yet; she knows this part is temporary- soon, she'll undergo her surgery and the bandages will come off and she'll at least have two perceptible hands again, but that's the part that Erin worries about. It's easy enough to comprehend her limitations when her hand is bound and hidden like this; it's likely to be much harder when she can see and feel it but it just doesn't work.

Holtzmann seems especially frustrated today. Erin had been side-eyeing her for a while from her desk, as she wandered around the lab. Her full attention is captured once she hears a slight crash, followed by a clatter of instruments falling off the edge of one of Holtzmann's work stations.

"You okay?" She asks feebly.

"Peachy," Holtz mutters.

"Just uh, my leg fell asleep. Needed to kick it out."

"Mhmm, right. Sure."

Erin steps out from behind her desk and manoeuvres her way past the clutter to Holtzmann's side. She hasn't moved, just staring at the mess on the floor, a deep frown set on her face.

Erin sighs, and throws an arm over her shoulders, pulling her into a hug. She usually lets Holtzmann initiate any physical contact, knowing how particular she is about it, but she can't help herself. Holtz exhales and rests her head on her chest, wrapping her arms around her waist a little tighter than Erin might've expected. They stay like that for a few moments.

"Erin," Holtz says quietly.

"I know I said I didn't want anyone to come with me for the surgery, but, uh..."

"Of course I'll come." Erin responds quickly, not making her say the words.

She feels the blonde relax against her.

"Thank you."

 

* * *

 

Holtzmann thinks Erin hasn't noticed her nerves. She thinks Erin hasn't noticed the way she keeps pulling her glasses off and putting them back on again, the way her breath hitches when someone walks through the doors in front of them, the way she shifts uncomfortably every so often and rubs the side of her face.

Erin has noticed. For once, she's been better at masking her own feelings. Of course she's nervous, but Holtz needs support, not someone to reaffirm her fears.  So she sits still, breathes evenly, places her hand over Holtzmann's functioning one when her fingers tap incessantly against the hard metal of the seat.

When the doctor approaches, Holtzmann takes hold of Erin's hand, intertwining their fingers and squeezing tight. Erin strokes her knuckles, feeling how nervous she is.

"You know how easy it is for you to take things apart and put them back together?" She says quietly, so the approaching surgeon can't hear her.

Holtzmann nods.

"Just think of it like that. Your hand is a piece of machinery this guy knows inside and out. You've got this."

She squeezes her hand.

"We've got this."

Holtzmann nods again, offering her a small, grateful smile. She keeps her hand when Holtz is ushered onto a gurney, right up until she goes through the doors to the surgical floor.

 

* * *

 

" _Hello_ sunshine," Holtzmann greets her with a loopy grin when she's finally allowed into her hospital room.

Erin smiles back at her.

"Morphine treating you good, huh?"

"Oh, yes," She confirms.

"I'm having a great time."

Erin chuckles, shaking her head in disbelief.

"They said it went really well, Holtz," Erin tells her as she drops into the seat next to her bed.

"Because _you_ were here," Holtzmann slurs back, pointing at Erin with her good hand.

"I don't think my presence affected anyone's surgical ability, but I'm happy to be here," She laughs.

Holtzmann scoffs, throwing her head back dramatically.

"You can affect _my_ surgical ability _any day_ , Erin," She says with a wink.

Erin just smiles as she looks her over. Her hand is bound even more heavily than before, and elevated. She sits up in the bed, leaning back, a lopsided grin on her face. She seems smaller than usual, yet still somehow larger than life.

"Okay Holtz," She humours her with a smile.

"I think you should get some sleep, though."

"Sleep is for dudes," She responds automatically, stifling a yawn.

"Sure it is," Erin pats her leg fondly as she watches her drift off.

 

* * *

 

_February_

 

* * *

 

 

The bandages are off. It's been six weeks since the surgery, and Holtzmann is decidedly brighter since being able to see that her hand is actually still attached to her body. Much to everyone's annoyance, and her own frustration, she still tries to work. Her brightness fades a little more everyday when she tries to do something and just can't, because whilst there are _many_ things she's very skilled at doing with one hand, nuclear engineering is really a two-limbed job.

It comes to a head when something she's attempting to fix catches fire and she can't put it out, and Erin runs across the room to her aid. By the time she's finished putting it out, Holtzmann is turned away, her head resting against the wall.

"Holtz," She sighs, setting the fire extinguisher down and heading over to her.

"Don't," She mumbles.

"Let me help you," She says softly, lightly touching her arm.

Holtzmann turns around slowly, leans back against the wall, and visibly softens under Erin's gaze.

"It's not like you can give me your hands, Er," She sighs with a small, forced smile.

Erin falls silent for a few moments.

"What if I could?"

Holtzmann raises an eyebrow, tilting her head in confusion.

"Neither of us are qualified to perform a hand transplant. Plus, your hands are way bigger than mine. It would be uneven."

Erin grins, happy to see that her spark is still ever present.

"What, my hands aren't good enough for you?" She quips back.

"I'm sure they're more than good enough for me," Holtzmann responds without missing a beat, accentuating it with a wink.

"Alright," Erin laughs.

"I mean... Why don't I be the hands of the operation? Just... tell me what you need to do, and I'll do it. We'll figure it out."

Holtzmann's eyes brighten, her dimples deepening as she smiles for real.

"You'd do that for me?"

"Of course."

"But... don't you have your own work?"

Erin shrugs.

"I've been struggling a bit lately. Plus, there's no use in theory if we can't bring it to life, right?"

Holtzmann stares at her for a long moment, then grins and pulls her into a tight hug.

"You're the best," She says into her shoulder, and Erin could swear she feels her press a kiss against her hair.

Physical contact has been a lot more common for them lately- Holtz has needed it, and Erin has been her shoulder to lean on throughout the whole ordeal, both literally and figuratively.

"I know."

 

* * *

 

_March_

 

* * *

 

It's much more smooth sailing than either one of them had expected. Of course, there's an adjustment period- Erin's hands don't navigate machinery with the practised ease that Holtzmann's do, and her fingers, though slightly guitar-calloused, aren't quite as sturdy as Holtzmann's are after years in her line of work. She's a fast learner, though, and she follows Holtz's instructions, even the ones she's suspicious of being a joke. (Quite a few of them are.) Eventually, they fall in sync, and work almost at the speed that Holtzmann used to by herself.

 

"This is terrifying," Patty mutters from the doorway of the lab as they watch Erin and Holtzmann move like a well-oiled machine.

"Yep," Abby agrees.

"I feel like I'm watching a nature documentary about mating rituals. I know I should look away, but I just can't."

Patty gives her a look of pure bewilderment.

"You just made it _so weird_."

"It was already weird!"

Patty hits her friend lightly on the arm, shaking her head as she steps into the lab, so the others notice them.

"Hey nerds," She says loudly, clapping her hands.

They look up, Erin in the middle of tightening a bolt, Holtzmann poised just next to her, as she always is, ready to hand her the next thing they need.

"What do y'all want to eat? We were thinking-"

"Pizza," Erin and Holtz say at the same time.

"... Did you guys rehearse that?" Abby asks, confused apprehension set on her face.

"Practise what?" They respond, in unison again.

There's a silence, and the two ghostbusters begin to slowly back out of the lab.

"Oooookay," Patty says as they leave.

"Pizza it is."

She waits until they're back near the doorway before nudging her short friend.

" _Terrifying_ ," She repeats.

Holtzmann chuckles as she watches them go, before turning back to Erin.

"I told you we were freaking them out," She grins.

Erin shakes her head as she goes back to the machine.

"That was much more fun that I thought it would be," She laughs.

She sets down the wrench when she's done, then turns to Holtz.

"What's next?"

Holtzmann beams.

"We're done."

"Wait, really?"

"Yup," Holtzmann pats the machine joyfully.

"You know," She continues.

"This is the first thing we've built from scratch together."

"Oh, you're right."

Erin examines the contraption fondly. It's not huge, but it's significant; it's a new ghost trap prototype they've been drafting together for months, one that emits a proton stream of its own to aid in wrangling particularly large entities.

"A Holtzmann original," Erin grins.

"I'm honoured,"

"A _Holtzbert_ original," The blonde corrects her.

"What?" Erin giggles, caught off guard.

"Patty called us that a while ago. I like it."

Erin looks over at the device, then to Holtzmann, then back at it.

"Me too."

 

* * *

 

_April_

 

* * *

 

 

After the first surgery, the one that Holtz had nervously asked her to attend, Erin (correctly) assumes that she should go with her to all of her appointments. She's been to every follow-up appointment, and every physical therapy session. Mostly, they're fine- despite her inevitable moments of frustration when she can't do something, she generally keeps up high spirits, and Erin does her best to hold them up from the sidelines. It's been two months since her surgery, though, and she still can't maintain her grip. After her hand relaxes without her permission again, she yells in frustration, and they call it a day.

On the drive home, Holtzmann slouches down in her seat, looking at the ground. She hasn't said much. Erin glances over at her and sighs at how defeated she seems.

"Hey," Erin says after a few minutes.

"Mind if we go somewhere?" She keeps her eyes on the road.

"Sure," Holtz agrees.

"Where to?"

Erin clears her throat nervously.

"Just trust me."

The drive is a little longer than Erin expects; she doesn't quite know the way as well as she used to. She finds it eventually, though, and stays silent as she parks the car. She gestures for Holtz to follow her as she gets out, and they walk through a park over to a small coffee shop.

"They have, uh, the best hot chocolate in the world here. I thought it might help." Erin says as they sit down.

Holtzmann nods, sensing from her tone of voice that she's holding out on something.

After the waitress takes their order, they chat idly, Holtzmann admiring the place and Erin offering up a flippant comment about how she used to visit all the time.

After their drinks arrive, Holtzmann looks at Erin curiously. She's staring into her drink, swirling her spoon absently.

"I used to come here with my brother," She offers after a while, looking up at her finally.

"Your brother?" Holtzmann responds instantly, her eyebrows shooting up.

"I didn't know you have a brother."

Erin pauses.

"Uh, had."

Holtzmann freezes and then nods slowly, understanding.

"He was older, and he brought me here a lot when I was in therapy, and my parents didn't believe me, and... I don't think he did, either, but he was still there for me. He had problems a lot bigger than mine, but he still took the time, you know, to make sure I was heard, and that I felt better."

She looks around, smiling fondly. It's a small place, and perhaps wouldn't be particularly memorable to anyone else, but it clearly means a lot to Erin.

"It's wasn't even wheelchair accessible back then," Erin laughs, looking over at the steps leading up to the entrance.

"But the staff would come out and lift him in. Everybody loved him." She smiles sadly.

"Anyway," She clears her throat, looking back at Holtz.

"I guess this is a story about resilience? I don't know. But I was thinking about, um, when we went to the bridge, and you told me about your dad, and... it meant a lot to me that you opened up, so I thought I'd open up a little, too."

Holtzmann smiles back at her, placing her hand over hers.

"Thank you, Er," She keeps smiling at her as she takes a sip of her drink.

It's not the best hot chocolate she's ever had, but she tells her it is, anyway.

She sighs lightly as she places the cup back on the table.

"My dad died, too," She says, unsure of where it came from.

Erin's eyes widen, soft and curious.

"He was a fire-fighter." She explains.

"Only person I ever felt understood me, until..." She trails off, but looks into her eyes.

Erin smiles and nods, squeezing her hand, understanding.

 

* * *

 

_May_

 

* * *

 

 

"Hey, Erin?" Holtzmann calls out across the lab. She's been working alone, just drafting a project instead of any physical work, so Erin is back across the room at her desk. She has much higher function now, anyway, and can do some of her work alone, but Erin stays around just in case.

"Yeah?" Erin answers, standing up and heading over right away.

"Okay, so, don't be mad."

Erin rolls her eyes immediately.

"What is it?"

She picks up the plans from the surface in front of her and hands them over her. Erin's eyes scan the page frantically.

"Is this... No, Holtz, no. No way. Throw it out." She shakes her head, dropping the plans back on to the table.

"I've got it totally figured out! It's fine, Er, it'll be-"

"Nope," Erin repeats, raising her hands above her head and stepping back away from her.

"Erin," Holtzmann almost laughs, hopping out of her seat to follow her.

"I'm not-" Erin's voice shakes a little, and Holtzmann's face falls, seeing that she's actually upset.

"We're not working on the thing that hurt you, Holtz."

Holtzmann softens, and steps closer to her, placing a hand on either side of her face.

"Listen. It only happened because I was dicking around and doing it alone when I knew I needed help, and I know what went wrong, and I know how to fix it. And you're gonna help me this time, and I know you wouldn't let anything go wrong."

Her words hang in the air for a moment, and Erin sighs softly, leaning into her touch.

"Fine," She agrees quietly.

"Fine. Okay."

Holtzmann beams at her, letting go of her face and heading across the lab to retrieve the contraption, dropping it on the work station.

"You remember what to do?"

Erin nods, following her and standing behind her to wait for the go-ahead. Holtzmann takes a minute to find everything she needs, then takes Erin's hands and places them on the levers, standing between her arms.

They stay like that for over an hour, Holtz talking Erin through what she's doing, and occasionally singing it, so she doesn't get bored. Erin isn't even _close_ to bored.

She peers over her shoulder to get a closer look and gets another whiff of her hair, and her mind flashes back to the last time they were in this position, just hours before Holtzmann got injured. She tightens her grip on the levers.

" _Aaaaaall_ done." Holtzmann sings.

"That was fast," Erin comments.

"Yeah, well, done for today. Baby steps."

There's a silence as Holtzmann stands there, waiting for Erin to let go of the levers.

"I'm not moving until you move away from it."

Holtzmann chuckles, spinning around so they're nose-to-nose. Her smile falls into something else when she registers Erin's expression.

Erin remembers the last time they were in _this_ position, too. 

And once again, for a brief moment, Erin thinks Holtz is going to kiss her. But she doesn't.

Holtzmann clears her throat, taking Erin's hands and lifting them from the machine before taking a step back from their close proximity.

"Erin, would you step outside with me, please?" She says as she begins to walk over to the balcony, without turning back to face her.

"I have a serious matter to discuss with you."

Erin watches curiously for a moment before following her out. Holtzmann is leaning against the railing, looking tense. She straightens up and heads towards Erin as soon as she sees her.

"What's up, Hol-"

Then, Holtz does kiss her. She's cut off mid-sentence by soft lips against her own and arms slowly wrapping around her waist. Her eyes flutter closed, and she melts. Her hand finds it's way to Holtzmann's face, her thumb gently tracing her cheek as she kisses her back. Holtz smiles into the kiss, pulling Erin closer as she feels her other hand bury in her hair.

Holtz is the first to come up for air, disconnecting their lips but not moving away, faces and bodies still pressed together.

"That's, um," She meets Erin's eyes and grins.

"Good talk."

"Mm-hmm," Erin nods, twirling a piece of Holtzmann's hair between her fingers.

"Though I do, uh, I do have a few more points to make."

"Oh, you do?" She raises her eyebrows as she beams up at her, nose scrunching as she smiles before kissing her again.

"Where did that come from?" Erin asks breathlessly, the next time they pull apart.

"A long time coming, I think," Holtzmann grins, stroking her hair.

 

* * *

 

They head downstairs for dinner eventually, and their friends eye their intertwined fingers suspiciously.

"Hey," Holtzmann grins as they reach the bottom step.

"So, Erin and I just made out a little. We haven't discussed what this means yet, but I thought you guys should know."

She's met with silence, and looks back at Erin, who is covering her face with her free hand.

"You're an idiot." She responds eventually.

She drops her hand from her face.

"Okay. Fine. Holtz, will you be my girlfriend?"

Holtzmann's jaw almost hits the floor, and she turns immediately to Abby and Patty.

"Did you hear that? Erin just asked me to be her girlfriend."

Patty chuckles, shaking her head.

"Yeah, we heard. You might wanna answer her."

" _Oh_!" Holtzmann yells, and spins around to kiss her hard on the lips.

"Yes. Of course. Yes."

Their friends cheer behind them as Erin laughs and pulls her into a hug, burying her face into her shoulder, embarrassed.

They break apart as they hear Patty mumbling behind them, and find Abby pulling twenty dollars out of her purse and handing it over.

"She didn't think you'd ever have the balls to go for it," Patty explains to Erin, who responds by glaring at Abby.

"What?" Abby squeaks incredulously.

"You wouldn't even go to the park with me after they closed the gate to the parking lot! It was _still open_."

"That was in _high school_."

Patty laughs as she triumphantly puts the money in her pocket, and walks over to Erin and Holtz, throwing her arms around both of them.

"Whatever, man. I'm happy for y'all."

"Yeah, it's about time," Abby agrees, running over to get in on the group hug.

 

* * *

 

_June_

 

* * *

 

 

They walk to Holtzmann's next physical therapy session hand-in-hand, and remain that way when they're led to sit down in a consultation room.

"Okay, Holtzmann," Her doctor begins with a smile.

She's an older, chubby woman, with short hair and a warm smile. She's actually the third physical therapist assigned to Holtz, after she'd scared off the two men that preceded her. Holtzmann liked this one.

"I think we're done."

Holtzmann looks up from idly playing with Erin's fingers.

"Wait, what?"

"We're done," she repeats, dropping her hands onto the paperwork in front of her for emphasis.

"I can see from your last assessment, you're at ninety percent function, which is so far beyond what we thought we could achieve. You've done really amazing work, and you don't need to see me anymore."

Holtzmann's mouth falls open, and she looks over at Erin, whose grin is almost bigger than her face.

Holtzmann lets go of Erin's hand, rushing around behind the desk to pull her doctor up into a hug. The older woman laughs, patting her back.

"Thank you so much," Holtz grins, holding her at arms length.

She gives her a salute and runs back over to Erin, taking her hand and practically pulling her out of there.

 

* * *

 

They're back at Holtzmann's apartment soon after, and Holtz strides in with the same determination with which she left the doctor's office. Erin is immediately distracted by her first real look at Holtzmann's apartment, and doesn't notice the way the other woman is looking at her as she takes off her jacket and drops it to the floor.

"I was expecting your place to be more of a disaster," She says as Holtz reaches her and takes her hands.

"But it's really nice."

"Mmhmm," Holtz hums as she takes off Erin's jacket.

"You collect _art_?" She asks as Holtz walks forward, leading her back until her back hits the wall.

"Erin."

Erin looks up into her eyes finally, and Holtz grins, waving her fingers in front of her face.

She kisses her, then pulls away and whispers into her ear.

" _Ninety percent function_."

"Oh," Erin gasps, realising.

She grins at her before grabbing the collar of her shirt, kissing her hard.

Holtzmann laughs against her lips, before pulling away to take her hand and lead her to the bedroom.

 

* * *

 

"... Really, though, this is a nice apartment."

Holtzmann just laughs.

It's hours later, and Erin's head rests on Holtzmann's shoulder, her arm draped across her waist as they lay together, their clothes long abandoned.

"You don't remember any of it from last time you were here?"

"Nope," Erin chuckles, tracing shapes into Holtzmann's arm with her fingertips.

"I didn't think you would," Holtz smiles.

"That was the first time I was on Erin duty. It's not so bad."

Erin sits up slightly, propping herself up with one arm to look at her.

"Erin duty?" She asks with a raised eyebrow.

"I mean- nothing. What? You wanna make out."

"Holtzmann." Erin tilts her head, staring her down.

"What is Erin duty?"

Holtzmann laughs as Erin's eyes grow wider by the second.

"Do you ever wonder why we have a designated driver on nights out instead of just calling a cab?"

"I mean... No?"

The blonde smiles, amused, and runs her fingers through the ends of her girlfriend's hair.

"It's because- Okay. You're... you're a bit of a handful. When you're drunk. It's not actually a designated driver. It's Erin duty."

Erin stares, open-mouthed.

"Oh my god," She groans, dropping back down and burying her face in the pillow.

Holtz just chuckles and presses a kiss to her bare shoulder.

"It's okay. There are worse jobs."

Erin turns to face her eventually, still frowning.

"And you all call it that?"

"Wellll-"

"Holtz."

She can't help but laugh at the brunette's serious expression, her bottom lip jutting out slightly as she frowns.

"Yes. We all call it that. It's a thing."

"Uuuuuugh," Erin groans again, rolling into Holtzmann's side and pressing her face into her shoulder.

"Erin," She laughs.

"It's fine. If we minded, we would've told you. It's funny. I personally love being on Erin duty."

Erin rolls back onto her side so they're face to face.

"You do?"

"Yes," The engineer grins.

"I'd happily be on Erin duty every day for the rest of my life."

Erin smiles and catches her lips in a soft kiss.

"That's good, because technically you are."

"Oh yeah?" Holtz smirks, nose scrunching.

"Rest of my life, huh?"

Erin blushes, her eyes darting away from Holtz and up to the ceiling.

"I mean, if... If you want..."

"Erin," Holtzmann says, her tone suddenly serious.

"I would love to be on Erin duty for the rest of my life."

She kisses her again, and Erin sighs into it, her hands tangling in blonde curls.

"I guess I'll be on Holtzmann duty, too."

"I guess you will."

There's a silence as they smile at each other.

"I hope this kind of Erin duty is different, though, because you did throw up in my hamper."

"Tell me you're joking."

"I am."

Erin sighs heavily, taking the pillow from behind her head and hitting Holtz in the stomach with it as she laughs.

 

* * *

 

_July_

 

* * *

 

"Holtz, is this-"

"No." The tiny ball Erin picked up off of the shelf is swiped from her hand before she can even finish her sentence. She's been to Holtzmann's apartment countless times now, and is still finding unknown gems from her girlfriend's past.

"A hackysack?"

"No. It isn't." Holtzmann maintains a completely straight face, not looking at her.

Erin bites her lip, trying not to splutter as she holds back a rumbling laugh.

"Did you play hackysack in college?"

"You don't  _play_ ha- I mean. No."

"Oh my god. Show me something."

Holtzmann strides out of the room, intent on not having this conversation. Erin absolutely delights in this moment; she finally found something Holtz is embarrassed of. Finally she's not the one blushing.

" _Holtz_ ," She whines, dragging out the o like a child as she follows her.

"Come on. Show me something."

Holtzmann turns to face her finally, her brows knitting together in a frown. She taps at the sack in her hand, considering it. Erin cant help but want to kiss her frown away, but she's enjoying this far too much.

"You can't laugh."

Erin shakes her head and mimes zipping her lips, sitting down on the couch to get comfortable for this show. She holds back laughter to the point she feels like she may explode as Holtz side-eyes her suspiciously, before tossing the hackysack into the air and then catching it, finally deciding that she is going to give her girlfriend the satisfaction of witnessing her most embarrassing skill. Erin watches with glee, her mouth hanging open as Holtz becomes a blur of ridiculous movement. It reminds her of doing the robot; if the robot was being attacked by a giant bug. Unsurprisingly, there's a lot of leg work, and Holtzmann quickly gets into it. Erin can't help but imagine college Holtz, smoking pot behind the robotics lab then going home and hitting the sack, literally and then figuratively. College Holtz and College Erin would not have been friends. They would probably both have made fun of each other. Holtz stops suddenly, realising she'd gotten carried away.

"I smoked a lot of pot in college." Is all she says.

"I figured." Erin stands up and throws her arms around Holtzmann's neck, kissing her. Holtz raises an eyebrow at her as she pulls back slightly.

Erin chuckles.

"I just wanted you to know that I'm still into you even after witnessing that."

Holtz scoffs, jokily shoving her away.

 

* * *

 

_August_

 

* * *

 

 

Holtzmann is working on something. By herself. Using a blowtorch.

Erin is staring.

Holtz sighs, pausing what she's doing for a moment.

"Erin. I am not going to set myself on fire."

Erin scoffs. "I never- I didn't think you would."

"Stop staring at me."

Erin pretends to go back to work, shuffling papers around until Holtz feels at ease enough to go back to what she was doing. A few minutes pass. She sighs again, feeling her girlfriend's eyes on her.

"I can't ignore the fact that you're doing this." She mutters.

She glances from Erin to the machine and decides to try something.

Sparks fly out from the metal parts and Erin practically flies out of her seat.

Holtz turns to face her, wide-eyed, head tilted.

"And I do wish that you would stop."

Erin sighs.

"It's just instinct now. I'm not used to not being over here."

Holtzmann smiles and walks the short distance between them to press a soft peck to her lips.

"You can be over here any time you want. Just trust that I'm not going to set you on fire."

 

* * *

 

_September_

 

* * *

 

 

Erin thinks a lot about Holtzmann's hands. It's difficult not to. When they're working frantically over a piece of equipment, accentuating whatever wild story she's telling, or tracing shapes into Erin's shoulder blades in the early hours of the morning when they're both barely awake. She likes it best when Holtzmann's hands are in her own, calloused fingers intertwining with her own smooth ones. They do, of course, have their other talents; the kind that have Erin's own hands grasping at sheets, at Holtzmann's hair for dear life, long into the night.

She takes Holtzmann's hand from where it rests on her thigh as they're curled up on Erin's couch watching a movie. She studies it, and ponders how unrecognizable it was just a few months ago.

"What's up?" Holtz asks, looking down at her with a smile when Erin presses a kiss to her fingertips.

"Just thinking about how far we've come," Erin sighs contentedly.

"Er, you know I love you more than anything, but if you start spouting clichés about our journey, I'm going to leave."

Erin laughs and hits her playfully on the arm.

"Well, if it _is_ a journey, it's just beginning."

"Good job I've got plenty of gas in the tank," Holtz quips back with a wink.

Erin just chuckles and kisses her cheek before settling back against her, their fingers tightly intertwined.

Erin thinks a lot about Holtzmann's hands, but most of all, she thinks about how safe she feels in them.


End file.
